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Exploring The Darkness

Surrendering to the seasons of darkness to emerge into the light.

What comes to mind when you think of the “dark side”? Was your first thought negative? If it was, you’re on par with most of humanity. So many of us fear the very nature we are born of. Consider this, for nine months, we swam in the waters of darkness as we were lovingly and wondrously knit together in our mother’s womb. There, in the darkness we were nurtured and protected. There, in the darkness we were formed into the magnificent being that would enter the world, fill its lungs with the breath of life, and demand to be heard with a loud cry. There in the darkness, EVERYTHING was unknown and yet, there was no fear.

I have been on a personal journey into and through the darkness, my entire life. We all have. Those seasons of heartbreak, death, separation, loss and seeming failures, are the waters of darkness knitting together our very being that will re-engage the world, and we get to decide the voice that is heard when we come back into the light.

A few years ago, I went through a particularly rough season with my health, and the closest relationships in my life were challenged in ways I couldn’t understand. Everything felt out of control and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t find my footing. Things I had never questioned no longer made sense. The more I tried to “figure it out” or make it better, the more out of control it felt. I think I cried every day for a year. I felt hopeless and overwhelmed and couldn’t see a way through. Then one night laying in the darkness…I gave up. I didn’t want to live another day of the hell I was in and begged God to just let me die in my sleep.

That was surrender. Today I understand that my willingness to swim in the darkness has helped me find my voice and shine in the light. Embracing my feelings of despair and surrendering to the “dark side” was the beginning of an ascension journey beyond my wildest imagination. But it wasn’t until I allowed what was (or wasn’t), without judgment or resistance, that I could start to embrace what was becoming.

It was in that moment of surrender that I found grace…. for myself, for those I love, for things I didn’t understand, for life not showing up the way I thought it should. In that moment I met myself with the love I so desperately wanted from others, but needed from myself. I fell asleep crying that night as I released all of my expectations and fear and prepared to embrace the next season. There in the darkness God reminded me that I don’t have the spirit of fear. I have the breath of life in my lungs and the life-song my heart sings is needed in this world.

That is the power of love and I found it in the darkness.

The world is truly our oyster! This life is a playground for creation and when we understand that the most beautiful things are created in the dark, the “dark side” becomes our ally.

We are all on a journey into the unknown; creating life with every thought, word and action we take. We are creators and we get to choose. So, choose grace and surrender when you encounter the inevitable “dark side” that comes with being human. There is power in surrender. Then, choose to create a life filled with moments of deep inhales and letting your life-song be heard.

Embrace the dark side and KEEP GOING!

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